I had a big revelation on this recently and decided to completely overhaul my entire sense of style, because I looked at my clothes and they were cute and nice etc but didn't actually make me feel like myself. My new key questions when picking something are "do I think this is cool?" and "does it make me feel like me?" and that's led me to a defining style statement, which is as follows. I don't necessarily want people to look at me and think I'm a witch, because that feels like it requires something a bit too costumey, but I want to look in a way where if someone leaned over and whispered to you, "Hey, did you know she's a witch?", you'd look at me and think "Oh, that makes sense".
This has led to my obsession with the brand Disturbia (they do not go high enough in plus sizes let's be real, but at least they have the decency to not do a separate less-interesting Plus section and instead make everything available as high as they go), @luanna on instagram, and searching "goth cottagecore" on Pinterest. Also 95% of all-black items fit this style which makes it easy.
Love this. I also want some witch/crone don’t fuck with me or I’ll hex you vibes but that’s hard to achieve with yoga pants and goofy tee shirts. I recently cleaned out my wardrobe and realized I had the clothes of a 30 year old living in San Francisco. I’m 52 and I live in Austin and have many, many hot flashes. I’m thinking lightweight sleeveless dresses and lots of goths necklaces and rings may be the closest I’m going to get until our 2 months of fallwinter.
Ooh, see my comment about my old style statement, I need a new one and I like your framing! I giggled at how specific and relatable it is. I almost feel as though I could pick out an outfit for you based on this! Also, check out Marianne Kirby, aka therotund on Insta, she would def be a good inspiration for you.
I love these guiding questions - they will help as I sort old clothes and consider what outfits will help me feel authentically me this summer - thank you!
I’ve been wearing a lot of black and white shirtdresses with graphic patterns (mostly stripes and chevrons). I had a weird realization that I’m dressing like Moira Rose if she was really into second wave ska.
My Nana Muriel. was one of my biggest influences. My mom is a boomer/hippie and was very anti-femme. I’m very femme so that was weird. I got judged for wanting to dress the way I felt at a young age. My Nana Muriel was femme but had a unique, evolving style. She ignored trends and made her own statements with dark lipstick, turquoise and silver jewelry, and whatever else she liked. I grew up in the 80s, which was not the time to have a curvy hourglass figure. I was several decades early. It took me a long time to find my style (which changes a lot) but I always think of my Nana and how she did feminine in her own way and no one else’s. My body is changing a lot right now with almost menopause and making me readjust my style but I’ll find my way.
This is so timely for me as I am just on the cusp of doing a big closet cleanout/overhaul (like I know I need to do it and I’m really trying to muster the energy to just get started). I’ve really been thinking hard about what I want to keep and how to generally refocus my style. Seeing you and Virginia and Dacy talking about fat fashion stuff online have been great thought provoking material for me to chew on with this process.
I realized recently that I have a lot of things that are cute that I like but that I just never wear bc they are too tailored or tight or uncomfortable. I tend to reach for the comfy sacky jersey dress and bright cardigan over leggings every time. So why am I not promoting comfort as a primary value for me in this process? This is definitely a revelation that, while obvious, I just never thought about. The whole frump thing is like a huge light bulb of “oh yeah male gaze fashion” that I hadn’t really understood that I was still internalizing. I’m 52 and a small fat menopausal gal, so it’s about damn time I let that mindset go already. Embrace the frump! Loving that I now have a word to encompass the comfort aesthetic I’m feeling the need for.
My other style guidepost has been the toddler grandma thing. I love a bright colored cardigan or a loud fun print dress, so I’ve leaned into that zany vibe quite a bit. I always admire the slightly boho or witchy vibe of certain outfits I see, but I find them hard to pull off as they just don’t seem to suit me as well as my bright colors and comfy silliness that feel to me like fun.
Things I do like to wear:
- stripes, usually smaller width ones but definitely horizontal
- polka dots, any kind
- unusual versions of bright colors, like a chartreuse instead of a midtone green, or the tomato-y orangey red rather than candy apple red, or teal/turquoise instead of royal blue, bright violet/magenta instead of lavender, etc
- cardigans, long or short, in bright colors
- low boots or high top sneakers or vans style slip ons in fun prints
- midi or maxi skirts
- leggings or legging style dress pants
- stripey or fun color socks
I just found a great pair of linen blend pants this week at old navy in the men’s department that are great - they are comfy and cute but slouchy in a way that I love and they have the wider leg with a slight taper that is so 80s to me (in a good way). I hesitated for a moment bc they have pleats in the front that kinda accentuate my belly pooch and I’ve been so trained to reject things that don’t “flatter” that area. But then I thought, I love everything else about these, and aren’t pleats actually made to accommodate parts of the body that aren’t flat? Like that’s their literal purpose, not to be fashionable. So I said screw it! and I bought the pants in 3 different colors.
I have a hard time mustering energy for big closet clean outs. I've started doing just a few items at a time. I'll do one drawer if I'm feeling ambitious or I'll just go and pick 2 items I know I want to donate. This has made it a bit more accessible to me.
I am very excited about your new linen blend pants! Those sound amazing.
I'm also a big fan of doing the big cleanout one shelf or drawer at a time! Feels so much more manageable, and I think having one drawer or shelf or spot done gives you some momentum.
About a year ago I had a revelation that I just wanted to dress like Strega Nona: comfy skirt, layers, hair tied back in a scarf.☺️ I’ve also described my style inspo as “middle school art therapy teacher”. I love a loose, patterned skirt with a tucked in shirt and comfy cardigan on top! Pockets, layers, and functionality have become much more important to me the older I’ve gotten.
Anne Shirley, Tasha Tudor, and Pippi Longstocking. Also I think Lindy West has amazing style. Her bangs are just so good. I also love, love, love color and pattern, but I’m fat and sometimes I can’t help but think I look like a clown. I’m trying to take up space and like what I like, but it feels like the world wants me to hide in a corner and wear baggy black dresses. I like whimsy, but I don’t want to be silly, you know?
Also I deeply relate to that fear of looking like a clown and the fine line between silly and whimsical. I haven't figured it out yet, but I am trying to actively do stuff that makes me a smidge uncomfortable just to give it a try.
Fun fact: back in Lindy's jezebel days I was inspired to dye a streak of platinum in my hair bc of her candy corn-flavored Oreo review (it's hilarious). I dm'ed her on the bird app and she posted about it being flattering so basically what I'm saying is that we're best friends now 12 years later.
So excited for this. The m really struggling with body neutrality as my body shifts with my own grief and the general state of the world. It’s so interesting because I really thought I was there, I had body image acceptance and love on lock, until my body changed. Anywho, I love this so I can add more fat folks to my IG!
Relatable! I’m in a similar spot with respect to body neutrality. As I’ve begun sewing more, I’m trying to learn to *fit* garments more precisely. I had my husband take some pictures of me in the toile I’m currently working on, and the side and back views were unsettling.
I’m so sorry. I relate to this. It is such a struggle sometimes to see myself from all angles or even just in a simple photograph. I feel like I’m missing out on life in some ways because I can’t seem to find even a neutral stance towards my body.
THANK YOU for showing influence OUTSIDE of modern understandings of 'style' (i.e. the social media influencers).
My inspiration for style comes from Frida Kahlo and her passion for Indigenous cultures; Hilma Af Klimt's abstractism; The writing of Peter Ackroyd and his description of life; my elderly clients who style things practically and usefully.
I just put Emma’s book on hold at my library. I’m going to spend an enjoyable morning drinking coffee and digging in to your style inspiration accounts.
My style influences right now are citrus fruits, dressing like myself when I was 5, shirts my dad would wear to mow the lawn growing up, “going to the pool” looks, and funky old ladies you meet at yard sales : )
I don't follow that many stye instagrams because many of them annoy me, especially thin women, but Sophie Strauss (stylist for regular people) has GREAT content that is actively fat inclusive even though she's thin. She has many fat clients and they look INCREDIBLE. She does a lot of mixed patterns which is my love language lol. HIGHLY recommend. https://www.instagram.com/sophiestraussstyling/
Lately I’ve been obsessed with The Wicker Man, both the original and the Nic Cage remake (70s cult aesthetics, long white dresses, folk embroidery, baskets-as-purses, menacing puppetry, ceramicist-chic, BEES).
I also follow the Victoria and Albert on Instagram for their memento mori, antique lace made by Italian nuns and Schiaparelli surrealism. None of this would be reasonable to wear to like, the farmer’s market in my city, but a girl can dream.
On a less fantastical note, Amy Smilovic from Tibi is amazing for layering ideas and fashion theory.
I LOVE memento mori, antique lace made by Italian nuns and Schiaparelli surrealism! I hope you're finding little ways to incorporate those into farmer's market runs.
While you can't apply these elements whole cloth, I can totally see these for inspiration into an every day wardrobe. Love that! Maybe I need to look further afield for my inspo!
I had a big revelation on this recently and decided to completely overhaul my entire sense of style, because I looked at my clothes and they were cute and nice etc but didn't actually make me feel like myself. My new key questions when picking something are "do I think this is cool?" and "does it make me feel like me?" and that's led me to a defining style statement, which is as follows. I don't necessarily want people to look at me and think I'm a witch, because that feels like it requires something a bit too costumey, but I want to look in a way where if someone leaned over and whispered to you, "Hey, did you know she's a witch?", you'd look at me and think "Oh, that makes sense".
This has led to my obsession with the brand Disturbia (they do not go high enough in plus sizes let's be real, but at least they have the decency to not do a separate less-interesting Plus section and instead make everything available as high as they go), @luanna on instagram, and searching "goth cottagecore" on Pinterest. Also 95% of all-black items fit this style which makes it easy.
Love this. I also want some witch/crone don’t fuck with me or I’ll hex you vibes but that’s hard to achieve with yoga pants and goofy tee shirts. I recently cleaned out my wardrobe and realized I had the clothes of a 30 year old living in San Francisco. I’m 52 and I live in Austin and have many, many hot flashes. I’m thinking lightweight sleeveless dresses and lots of goths necklaces and rings may be the closest I’m going to get until our 2 months of fallwinter.
I love this! Such a great revelation.
Ooh, see my comment about my old style statement, I need a new one and I like your framing! I giggled at how specific and relatable it is. I almost feel as though I could pick out an outfit for you based on this! Also, check out Marianne Kirby, aka therotund on Insta, she would def be a good inspiration for you.
What a phenomenal rec, I love her style! Thanks so much!
I love these guiding questions - they will help as I sort old clothes and consider what outfits will help me feel authentically me this summer - thank you!
Having people wonder if I’m a witch is very appealing. I’m going to check out your inspiration and see what I can incorporate.
does this even answer the question lmao sorry
I’ve been wearing a lot of black and white shirtdresses with graphic patterns (mostly stripes and chevrons). I had a weird realization that I’m dressing like Moira Rose if she was really into second wave ska.
Somehow I can really picture this!
- British lady gardeners
- WWII British home front BBC tv special fashion
- Women mountaineers before they wore pants
- Kiki’s Delivery Service
- Practical Magic
- Shannon Shaw from Shannon and the Clams
- Erin Jean McDowell @emcdowell
- The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel
- Outlander once they’re in North America
- Old Delia’s catalogues
- The colors in @shopbientot
- Phoebe Wahl in photos & in her art
- Rose Melberg
- Marielle Elizabeth @marielle.elizabeth
- @bonpon511
- Jackie Schwitter @thecurvycapsule
Great list✅
My Nana Muriel. was one of my biggest influences. My mom is a boomer/hippie and was very anti-femme. I’m very femme so that was weird. I got judged for wanting to dress the way I felt at a young age. My Nana Muriel was femme but had a unique, evolving style. She ignored trends and made her own statements with dark lipstick, turquoise and silver jewelry, and whatever else she liked. I grew up in the 80s, which was not the time to have a curvy hourglass figure. I was several decades early. It took me a long time to find my style (which changes a lot) but I always think of my Nana and how she did feminine in her own way and no one else’s. My body is changing a lot right now with almost menopause and making me readjust my style but I’ll find my way.
Your nana Muriel sounds amazing. I love the idea of having ancestral style influences!
This is so timely for me as I am just on the cusp of doing a big closet cleanout/overhaul (like I know I need to do it and I’m really trying to muster the energy to just get started). I’ve really been thinking hard about what I want to keep and how to generally refocus my style. Seeing you and Virginia and Dacy talking about fat fashion stuff online have been great thought provoking material for me to chew on with this process.
I realized recently that I have a lot of things that are cute that I like but that I just never wear bc they are too tailored or tight or uncomfortable. I tend to reach for the comfy sacky jersey dress and bright cardigan over leggings every time. So why am I not promoting comfort as a primary value for me in this process? This is definitely a revelation that, while obvious, I just never thought about. The whole frump thing is like a huge light bulb of “oh yeah male gaze fashion” that I hadn’t really understood that I was still internalizing. I’m 52 and a small fat menopausal gal, so it’s about damn time I let that mindset go already. Embrace the frump! Loving that I now have a word to encompass the comfort aesthetic I’m feeling the need for.
My other style guidepost has been the toddler grandma thing. I love a bright colored cardigan or a loud fun print dress, so I’ve leaned into that zany vibe quite a bit. I always admire the slightly boho or witchy vibe of certain outfits I see, but I find them hard to pull off as they just don’t seem to suit me as well as my bright colors and comfy silliness that feel to me like fun.
Things I do like to wear:
- stripes, usually smaller width ones but definitely horizontal
- polka dots, any kind
- unusual versions of bright colors, like a chartreuse instead of a midtone green, or the tomato-y orangey red rather than candy apple red, or teal/turquoise instead of royal blue, bright violet/magenta instead of lavender, etc
- cardigans, long or short, in bright colors
- low boots or high top sneakers or vans style slip ons in fun prints
- midi or maxi skirts
- leggings or legging style dress pants
- stripey or fun color socks
I just found a great pair of linen blend pants this week at old navy in the men’s department that are great - they are comfy and cute but slouchy in a way that I love and they have the wider leg with a slight taper that is so 80s to me (in a good way). I hesitated for a moment bc they have pleats in the front that kinda accentuate my belly pooch and I’ve been so trained to reject things that don’t “flatter” that area. But then I thought, I love everything else about these, and aren’t pleats actually made to accommodate parts of the body that aren’t flat? Like that’s their literal purpose, not to be fashionable. So I said screw it! and I bought the pants in 3 different colors.
I have a hard time mustering energy for big closet clean outs. I've started doing just a few items at a time. I'll do one drawer if I'm feeling ambitious or I'll just go and pick 2 items I know I want to donate. This has made it a bit more accessible to me.
I am very excited about your new linen blend pants! Those sound amazing.
I'm also a big fan of doing the big cleanout one shelf or drawer at a time! Feels so much more manageable, and I think having one drawer or shelf or spot done gives you some momentum.
You sound amazing and I bet you look fantastic.
Ooooo!! I realized I love the way Aja Barber dresses. To see a Black woman with a fro and this bold, easy, but pulled together look is so wonderful
ME TOO! She's unbelievably cool and stylish. And I have a feeling you're going to love the email coming Wednesday.
👀👀👀 I’m suddenly very excited for Wednesday 😆
About a year ago I had a revelation that I just wanted to dress like Strega Nona: comfy skirt, layers, hair tied back in a scarf.☺️ I’ve also described my style inspo as “middle school art therapy teacher”. I love a loose, patterned skirt with a tucked in shirt and comfy cardigan on top! Pockets, layers, and functionality have become much more important to me the older I’ve gotten.
ooooh I LOVE Strega Nona!
The fact that Tommy DiPaola dedicated that book to Franny and Fuffi, his grandmothers, makes it an extra win for me
Anne Shirley, Tasha Tudor, and Pippi Longstocking. Also I think Lindy West has amazing style. Her bangs are just so good. I also love, love, love color and pattern, but I’m fat and sometimes I can’t help but think I look like a clown. I’m trying to take up space and like what I like, but it feels like the world wants me to hide in a corner and wear baggy black dresses. I like whimsy, but I don’t want to be silly, you know?
Also I deeply relate to that fear of looking like a clown and the fine line between silly and whimsical. I haven't figured it out yet, but I am trying to actively do stuff that makes me a smidge uncomfortable just to give it a try.
Fun fact: back in Lindy's jezebel days I was inspired to dye a streak of platinum in my hair bc of her candy corn-flavored Oreo review (it's hilarious). I dm'ed her on the bird app and she posted about it being flattering so basically what I'm saying is that we're best friends now 12 years later.
Aww I’m so honored thank you so much Corinne!!
So excited for this. The m really struggling with body neutrality as my body shifts with my own grief and the general state of the world. It’s so interesting because I really thought I was there, I had body image acceptance and love on lock, until my body changed. Anywho, I love this so I can add more fat folks to my IG!
Relatable! I’m in a similar spot with respect to body neutrality. As I’ve begun sewing more, I’m trying to learn to *fit* garments more precisely. I had my husband take some pictures of me in the toile I’m currently working on, and the side and back views were unsettling.
I’m so sorry. I relate to this. It is such a struggle sometimes to see myself from all angles or even just in a simple photograph. I feel like I’m missing out on life in some ways because I can’t seem to find even a neutral stance towards my body.
THANK YOU for showing influence OUTSIDE of modern understandings of 'style' (i.e. the social media influencers).
My inspiration for style comes from Frida Kahlo and her passion for Indigenous cultures; Hilma Af Klimt's abstractism; The writing of Peter Ackroyd and his description of life; my elderly clients who style things practically and usefully.
I love this - kindred spirits for sure
I just put Emma’s book on hold at my library. I’m going to spend an enjoyable morning drinking coffee and digging in to your style inspiration accounts.
I pre-ordered the audio book and I can't wait to start it!
My style influences right now are citrus fruits, dressing like myself when I was 5, shirts my dad would wear to mow the lawn growing up, “going to the pool” looks, and funky old ladies you meet at yard sales : )
I cannot wait to see some of these pool looks!
I don't follow that many stye instagrams because many of them annoy me, especially thin women, but Sophie Strauss (stylist for regular people) has GREAT content that is actively fat inclusive even though she's thin. She has many fat clients and they look INCREDIBLE. She does a lot of mixed patterns which is my love language lol. HIGHLY recommend. https://www.instagram.com/sophiestraussstyling/
oooh, following her immediately!
Me, too!
Ace&jig in general
Shokotatara for layering inspo
Dressing Dawn for fit tips (since we have a similar body/shape – excellent recommendation to find someone who can be a stand in on fit/size!)
Marielle Elizabeth
Hoodiesandheadbands because I want to see more plus size over 50s
Vicky gets dressed for cardigan and color inspo
As a woman in my 40s, I concur with the dearth of plus size folks to follow in their 40s and 50s. Thanks for the rec on Hoodiesandheadbands!!!
Lately I’ve been obsessed with The Wicker Man, both the original and the Nic Cage remake (70s cult aesthetics, long white dresses, folk embroidery, baskets-as-purses, menacing puppetry, ceramicist-chic, BEES).
I also follow the Victoria and Albert on Instagram for their memento mori, antique lace made by Italian nuns and Schiaparelli surrealism. None of this would be reasonable to wear to like, the farmer’s market in my city, but a girl can dream.
On a less fantastical note, Amy Smilovic from Tibi is amazing for layering ideas and fashion theory.
I LOVE memento mori, antique lace made by Italian nuns and Schiaparelli surrealism! I hope you're finding little ways to incorporate those into farmer's market runs.
While you can't apply these elements whole cloth, I can totally see these for inspiration into an every day wardrobe. Love that! Maybe I need to look further afield for my inspo!