"It’s Not That I Don’t Fit Into Something— It Doesn’t Fit Me."
Notes on shopping the men's section and sizing up, with Julia Turshen.
Today’s Style Questionnaire is with !
Julia, 38, is a cookbook author, teacher, sometimes farmer, and competitive powerlifter in the Hudson Valley.
If you come to visit me, chances are good that I’ll whip up “A Nice Lasagna” from Julia’s book Small Victories and I’ve made the Chicken Reuben Skillet from Simply Julia so many times the page is splattered with chicken fat and sauerkraut brine. Julia’s next book What Goes With What will be out in October and the concept is pure creative genius—it’s full of charts that show how to riff on a basic recipe infrastructure. It’s such a smart way to think about cooking. Pre-order it now!
Aside from the books, Julia’s Keep Calm & Cook On newsletter is filled with solid, practical advice, like how to make cooking more physically accessible and cooking as caregiving. And I’ve always wanted to take one of her classes.
Julia also gave me great advice about powerlifting attire before my first meet, so I was really excited to talk to her about clothes.
I’d love to know how you feel about sizing up and shopping in the men’s section.
What are you wearing right now?
A blue-ish gray, very old men’s long-sleeve tee-shirt from Old Navy that has a pocket and is soooo soft since it’s so old and has been washed so many times, plus bike shorts (I like these very cheap ones the best — they are soft, comfortable and have pockets!).
What was the last item of clothing you bought?
Honestly? The official competition t-shirt from the “Ladies of Iron” powerlifting competition I participated in!
If you had to wear a uniform (the same thing every day) what would it be?
What I am wearing right now! Bike shorts and a long-sleeved tee-shirt. I pretty much wear a version of this everyday since I go to the gym all of the time and otherwise just live a very informal life. I am also a jeans and t-shirt person. When I lived in New York City, I used to wear jeans and men’s button-down shirts every single day, a true uniform, but then Grace (my spouse) and I moved to the Hudson Valley nearly a decade ago and no longer live close to a dry cleaner so that went out the window. Plus life here is a lot more casual. Plus I outgrew most of my button-downs.
Where did you get clothes as a kid? Describe a favorite childhood outfit.
Mostly the men’s section of the Gap and other suburban mall favorites. My dad has always been the “clothes” person of our family, meaning he’s the one who loves to shop for clothes and would take my brother and I shopping for clothes and my mom, too. I have so many memories of sitting in a dressing room in a department store while my dad picked out clothes for my mom to try on. I think sometimes I would even bring a book and just hang out since this could take a while. Anyway, I pretty much always shopped in the men’s section of whatever stores we were in because (a) I preferred the options and (b) I felt like there were more sizes I could fit in.
As an adult I now understand this to be all a part of my queer history, but at the time it just felt like the best option for me. I am very grateful to have parents who didn’t question this. Interestingly I now wear a lot more clothing from the women’s section of various stores and brands, but I think I still maintain my very gender-neutral style.
Tell me about an item of clothing that you wear only to do a specific activity.
A few years ago I spent a season working full-time on the crew at Long Season Farm, a small vegetable farm near where I live. During the growing season (spring through fall), I still try to go there every Thursday morning to help out because I really like being there. And I pretty much wear the same thing each Thursday morning because the items have gotten so worn in and dirty, I don’t care about wearing them in more or getting them dirtier.
So I either wear an old pair of Gap denim overalls I bought the season I worked there (they’re weirdly short on me, but I don’t mind, plus they don’t fall down when I bend and you bend a lot when you are farming), or this random pair of joggers I bought on sale at Old Navy a few years ago for like five dollars from the on-sale rack. They’re made of some kind-of ‘technical’ fabric (no idea what) but they weigh practically nothing, dry quickly if they get wet (a plus on the farm) and have an elastic waist and zippered pockets which is great for my keys and phone while I’m on the farm. On top I wear an old t-shirt with an old men’s Patagonia button-down shirt that is made of some kind-of helpful SPF fabric and also has zippered pockets (they don’t make it anymore, but it’s like this one). The shirt barely buttons on me anymore so I just have it open over my t-shirt, but I just like to have my arms covered to help with the sun and bugs, plus the zippered pockets are just so great. I also wear an old pair of XTRATUF ankle boots which I’ve had for years, plus long Fruit of the Loom black socks because, again, I don’t care if they get really dirty.
Plus one of my baseball hats that I’ve cut the back out of so it can fit my hair. I also wear these hats when I cook in commercial kitchens and when I play pickleball or do anything else outside.
Do you have any special cooking outfits or anything you find helpful to wear in the kitchen?
Nope, I cook in just about everything, but try not to wear my nicest shirts since they inevitably get something on them. But as you know by now, I don’t have that many “nice” shirts anymore, and don’t care a ton about my clothes!
What did you wear to the last party or event you attended?
Oh this is a funny story. I wore a pink Wildfang jumpsuit to this queer dance party Grace and I went to with a friend. The jumpsuit is not something I would’ve ever picked out for myself, but I ordered a shirt from Wildfang I wanted to try and they accidentally sent this jumpsuit instead and it happened to fit me perfectly. I inquired about returning it, but they said if I liked it, I should just keep it. I can’t even remember what the shirt was that I originally ordered. The jumpsuit is so comfortable, but I did get a little hot dancing and I nearly pulled my shoulder muscle when I took it off to go to the bathroom. But I did match the pink bathroom stall doors which was a fun moment!
What does queer style look like to you?
It looks comfortable and therefore confident. I know I don’t feel confident if I’m not comfortable. It also looks like wearing whatever you want because you give yourself permission to question norms in general so why not when it comes to clothes?
Tell me about an experience that changed your relationship to clothing or getting dressed.
I’ve always worn suits or some version of pants and a blazer to formal occasions (no ties for me). A few months ago I got to officiate one of my best friend’s weddings and knew it was important that I feel comfortable and confident in what I was wearing since I’d likely be a bit nervous up there. My body has changed a lot in the last few years so I needed a new suit. I ordered a black suit from J Crew (the Willa blazer and these wide leg pants, both in ‘City Crepe,’ and both go up to size 24). I first ordered them in the size I thought I was, and they kind-of fit. And then after looking at them in my closet for a couple of weeks I thought “what am I doing?” and ordered both sizes up (my top half is bigger than my bottom half). I had never purchased clothing in these sizes before so I had a brief emotional reaction and then I tried them on and they FIT and I felt so much more comfortable.
So I guess the experience was remembering that sometimes clothes don’t fit me, not the other way around. In other words, it’s not that I don’t fit into something, it’s that it doesn’t fit me. So getting the thing that fit me was liberating and helped me feel so much more at ease. I ended up wearing the black suit with a very inexpensive black mock turtleneck tank top from Old Navy and bright orange Adidas high tops. I felt really good about myself, even when I took off my jacket to dance. This might sound insignificant, but even when I was much thinner than I am now, I never was comfortable with my bare arms out in public. Getting a bunch of tattoos and powerlifting has made me feel really proud of my arms and all they can do. Plus I love to dance and get really hot when I dance (remember the jumpsuit?!) so it’s just a lot cooler, literally, to not have sleeves.
Also when I got the blazer in the right size and tried it on, I happened to be wearing a pair of very light-colored jeans and realized I was in the same outfit that I was wearing in one of my favorite photos of myself as a kid so Grace helped me do a cute side-by-side. This is all to say I have pretty much worn the same clothes my entire life and I am basically always trying to capture young me’s confident coolness. What a kid!
Tell me about an accessory or piece of clothing that you lost or ruined but still think about.
Well I am embarrassed to say this but I have no idea where my wedding ring is. I know it’s somewhere in our house, I just don’t know where it is. No matter though, Grace and I got our wedding bands tattooed last year in celebration of being married for a decade. Now I’ll never lose it! I also had a pair of yellow sunglasses from Steven Alan that I lovvvvved and stupidly wore them the one time I ever went on a paddle board and now those sunglasses are at the bottom of the ocean. I still get sad when I think about them.
What’s your 2024 summer must have?
Ice cold watermelon in the fridge at all times! But clothing-wise? I recently got a new rash guard because my old one smelled like an old beach (not in a good way) and was so tight. It was a men’s one and my chest needs a lot more room than that one offered! So I got this one from Dick’s Sporting Goods and I love it. It’s striped! It’s kind-of baggy and so comfortable. It goes up to a 3X. My best friend Cleo introduced me to wearing rash guards because she is all about sun protection. It’s so nice to not have to think about sunblock on your arms, back and shoulders when you’re out on the beach all day (which I am lucky to get to do for a week every summer with her and her family!). In general a comfortable bathing suit is a must have because I am my happiest in water.
Who do you think has good style?
You! I love seeing what you wear, Corinne!
Who else?? I think so many people have great style. Both of my parents have great style. Cleo, my BFF, does, too and I always want everything her three-year-old son wears but in my size. My friend Lacey is always wearing such cool clothes.
My ceramics teacher Alexis always looks so cool.
The following women are way more femme than I am, but I love all the things Michelle Buteau and Amber J. Phillips both wear. They both just seem so comfortable in their bodies which is cool to see.
This might seem so random, but my dermatologist exclusively wears Thom Browne and I just admire his commitment!
Liz Lambert is so cool!
Cecile McLorin Salvant is the coolest!
And Big Ellie, the official mascot for the WNBA. I just love anyone who figures out what makes them feel their best and just finds a version of that every single day.
Anything else you want to tell us about getting dressed?
Don’t be afraid to size up. You deserve to be comfortable!
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Thanks for having me over at your house! Xo
I LOVE the moment of realizing you are wearing a version of a favorite childhood outfit!