"I Want Moms and Fat Girls To Be Less Afraid of Looking Hot"

Style Questionnaire with Torunn

Oct 16, 2024

If you’ve been looking for thrifted outfit inspiration on Instagram, may I recommend Torunn of @LateNightSecondhand? Torunn is a 32 year old teacher and writer living in Asheville, NC. Her style magically combines whimsy and pragmatism in a way that feels exhilarating and achievable. Her wardrobe is full of amazing thrift finds and slow fashion staples. She also has an incredible sense of humor and I am so excited to have Torunn on Big Undies today!

If you like reading about what a former professional pastry chef is wearing and how clothes can be a lifesaving form of self expression, please become a paid supporter of Big Undies.

Torunn’s hometown of Asheville was recently devastated by Hurricane Helene. Please consider making a donation to Beloved Asheville or Equal Plates Project to support their hurricane relief efforts.

What are you wearing right now?

To be honest I am filling this out in the bath. Whoops! So… everyday oil.

What was the last item of clothing you bought?

I did a Goodwill bins run last week and bought a Universal Thread blue dress and a vintage silk shirt.

If you had to wear a uniform (same thing every day) what would it be?

Elastic waisted barrel jeans (similar, up to 3x) and an oversized tunic dress (similar, up to OS++, and you can use code LATENIGHTSECONDHAND for 10%) with bright socks, a cotton chunky cardigan (similar, up to 4x), and leather sandals (similar). Or Plasticanas—I’ve worn mine about 100 times this year.

Where did you get clothes as a kid? Describe a favorite childhood outfit.

Oh, this is big for me, because when I shop I can still hear my mom’s voice in my head saying “Oh, this is nice THICK cotton.” Or, “That will never go out of style.” I wore a lot of hand-me-downs and Hanna Andersson and matching cotton sets in the late 90s to early 00s. My grandma made me a lot of beautiful clothes, and as soon as I could sew and shop on my own I started thrifting, probably 7th grade.

That was when people were still grossed out by secondhand clothes, but I used my own babysitting money to shop. I remember getting teased—not by kids but by adults—for wearing things they wore as teens. I got a bodycon green velvet 80s prom dress and used to wear it to birthdays. In high school, our church was throwing out a size XXL men’s reflective coverall, and I cut it off and wore it to school on the first day of my senior year.

I’ve really appreciated a couple of your Instagram reels that I thought were really funny—one about hiking shoes never getting to live their best lives and one about the somber laborer look that is popular in a lot of slow fashion brands. Are there any other trends or styles that you think are really funny right now?

I’ve always thought fashion has a lot of humor in it—what’s in or out is funny because it shouldn’t be “in,” but usually funny to me because it’s suddenly everywhere, even though it has always been around. Like I wore Crocs in middle school, then wouldn’t have been caught dead in them for 15 years, and now I feel HOT in them. Denim on denim on denim cracks me up—I love to wear it, but I also think it’s a comedy look as much as a chic one. The fact that Sister Wife hair bun covers are coming in—I can’t get over that one.

Tell me about an item of clothing that you wear only to do a specific activity.

Lingerie. I always imagined myself being an adult who wore sexy underwear, like the models getting ready at the beginning credits of The Devil Wears Prada. But I have 12 pairs of ultra high rise black cotton briefs, and 12 black cotton Hanes bralettes, and then a beautiful collection of things that never get worn for more than 10 minutes. I truly believed women wore lingerie under real clothes—and I would love to find some that is comfortable enough to wear all day, but I haven’t. I like lingerie / underwear from Parade (up to 3x) but don’t find their bras to work well with bigger busts. I often order lacy things from ASOS (up to 26) or Fenty (up to 46DDD) because they are size inclusive in most of their styles.

What did you wear to the last party or event you attended?

I was invited to a beautiful wedding reception in Long Beach this summer that was Rat Pack themed, and I wore said black underwear set with a mesh leopard sheath (I got it at TJ Maxx and cut out the lining) (similar, up to size 32) and then went all out on the makeup—orange lipstick (this in salmon), white eyeliner, fake lashes. It’s hard to dress for a period theme as a fat girl—so few inspo pics—but I felt cute!

Tell me about an experience that changed your relationship to clothing or getting dressed.

Some time over the last 10 years, I stopped looking in the mirror and expecting a thin girl. It sounds silly, but for years I kept thinking I might secretly be thinner than I was, and then see photos and feel badly about myself. And when I realized that no one was going to look at me, no matter what I wore, and say “Wow, she’s so thin!” I got over it. I liked myself more. I got tattoos on my thighs and the jiggly on my arms and suddenly felt hot in a swimsuit and shorts again. I wear baggy things now. I love them.

I know you’re a mom–just wondering if you have any thoughts about dressing kids!

Phewwwwwww the great momfluencer thought process. I became a mom pretty young—pregnant at 21—and by surprise. The first few years of parenting I wanted to dress my kids the way I thought “good moms” did on social media—beige linen and wool. But my oldest wanted to wear PINK pretty early. I thrifted all of my kids’ clothes for years, and I just gave up on styling them. It seems so sad to not let kids dress how they want to—life is too short!

Now my oldest is 10 and still wears striped leggings and floral dresses and crazy ponchos and dresses like a kid, not a teenager, which makes me feel really happy for her. She gets to be herself.

Also, I had a big awakening when she was 4-5 and got a modeling gig for Misha & Puff. We went, and they had all these racks of beautiful expensive clothes, and NONE of the little girls modeling wanted to wear the wool knit bloomers or scratchy sweaters or wool overalls, and I didn’t make her do it. It was only her 3rd modeling gig, and we had tried it because we had the opportunity, but never again.

Tell me about an accessory or piece of clothing that you lost or ruined but still think about.

There are hundreds. We’ve moved a ton, and had to pare things down brutally, and I thrift a lot. The only things I really wish I’d kept are a few more of my grandmother’s clothes she gave me before college—I have a few still. There was a red and green wool plaid Pendleton coat (similar here and here) from 1964—she wore it home from the hospital after my aunt’s birth. I wore it all through my freshman year, then couldn’t fit any more, and I don’t remember what happened to it. I give a lot of things away.

What’s your fall 2024 must have?

Can I say inner peace? I’m back on Lexapro now that I’m teaching again, trying to keep my blood pressure chill. I hope we’re all spending time trying to be kind and wearing comfortable footwear. Clothes-wise, BIG SHIRTS. Giant oversized button downs, that actually flow and button over anything, are what I’m hunting for and wanting to style on repeat.

Who do you think has good style?

In real life, my BFF Anna, has such amazing style. She has shown me every cool brand I ever found and is an incredibly chic sewist. On social media, I think ahistoryofarchitecture is my style crush. And Matty Matheson is my style hero, too.

Anything else you want to tell us about getting dressed?

If you like it, wear it. Also, I want moms and fat girls to be less afraid of looking hot—whenever I see a mom or fat girl in a bodysuit, crop top, or bikini, or with thigh tattoos, etc I always think “she looks SO GOOD, I could do that!”

Thank you so much, Torunn! Follow LateNightSecondhand for more outfit inspo and you can find everything I linked to here.

I’d love to know what you thought about this style questionnaire in the comments.

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