"Buttoning My Shirt's Top Button Makes Me Feel Hot and Powerful"
The Style Questionnaire with Cody Cook-Parrott
Please welcome the brilliant Cody Cook-Parrott to Big Undies today! Cody, 36, lives in Northern Michigan on the Leelanau Peninsula. They are a dancer, facilitator, and author of Look About You: A Book of Ordinary Prayers. Cody just finished the first draft of their next book, The Practice of Attention.
In addition to books, Cody writes a newsletter that I adore called Monday Monday which recently moved off Substack. Subscribe to Monday Monday to read about The Great Spending Ban, Doing Business When The World Is on Fire, and The Blessing and Curse of a Paywall. Cody also hosts a 2x weekly writing group called Landscapes.
If you enjoy this style questionnaire, please become a paid subscriber to Big Undies and check out posts with Aja Barber, Emma Specter, and Tembe Denton-Hurst. Your support makes this possible. <3
What are you wearing right now?
A teal turtleneck with a baggy tee over it (this is what I wear almost every day in winter), long johns with fleece sweatpants over them, and wool socks
What was the last item of clothing you bought?
The baggy t shirt I am wearing and a few turtlenecks from St Vincent De Paul.
St Vincent De Paul is a thrift store chain in the midwest and always has the best finds. Unlike Goodwill where everything is Forever 21 fast fashion these days, you can still get quality LL Bean goods from the 70's-90's. Best prices in town! Everything is under $5 and they always have deals. Weird hours: Only open Thursday - Saturday 11-3-ish and it feels like a miracle when I remember they are open and it isn't during my normal work hours. It’s the perfect size, too—not too big, not too small. And there is almost always a good quilt book in the crafts section.
The t-shirt I bought is black and says ALTON, IL 1987 in big letters. At some point I realized it isn't about what a baggy t-shirt says, but it is about the drape, how it fits me, and how safe I feel inside of it. The turtleneck is light purple and one of the good 99 cent turtlenecks from St Vincent Depaul. I feel like I have one in every color. I don't look for brands specifically as much as the loose fit. But since I wear them as undershirts I like them to fit small but not too snug. Like, graze my body but not squeeze it.
If you had to wear a uniform (same thing every day) what would it be?
A turtleneck and a baggy tee, haha.
I was really inspired by your spending ban and I’d love to know how it’s going and if or how it has affected how you clothe yourself.
The spending ban was amazing. I committed to it for 6 weeks and bought no new books, plants, home decor, or clothes. Those were my main categories. I mostly found that I already have so many great clothes to play around with! I am still not purchasing from those 4 categories but loosened some of the others like eating out, the occasional latte, and I did just purchase a class for $99 on Google sheets. I am being really mindful of how a spending ban can mimic diet culture so I also want to be flexible and I love the hunt for clothes at St Vincent De Paul. It’s amazing how much you can get for $10-$15, so I might give myself a once a month thrift budget!
Where did you get clothes as a kid? Describe a favorite childhood outfit.
We got most of our clothes at thrift stores or Target. My favorite outfit as a child was….ready for it …. Turtlenecks with baggy tees. What can I say, gender euphoria!
A few years ago I had a non-flat top surgery where I got A cups. In bathing suits and tank tops, I love having tiny boobs. But in the winter, I love looking flat chested, so I think this is part of the baggy choice. I almost have a summer gender and a winter gender. In general I love a baggy tee. I just feel safe in the bagginess. It’s not about hiding my body necessarily—I really like my body. I just like to sort of disappear into my clothes. The layering is for warmth, style, and fun color combos. I like to match the black tees with a colorful turtleneck and the colorful tees with a gray or black turtleneck. Or sometimes I wear one of my vintage Detroit Bad Boys (Pistons NBA circa 1990’s) t shirts with a ribbed black turtleneck from Gap in the 90's (another amazing St Vincent De Paul find.) I love 90's Gap apparel, the vibe is right and fits me like a charm. I am basically always trying to dress like Clarissa Darling from Clarissa Explains It All.
Tell me about an item of clothing that you wear only to do a specific activity.
I thrifted an amazing pair of lined Carhartt overalls that I only wear to cross country ski.
What did you wear to the last party or event you attended?
A red sweatshirt, black jeans, and black boots, with a black puffy jacket. I def gravitate toward all black when I go out in public in the evening. Makes me feel safe, like I am in a little cocoon.
Tell me about an experience that changed your relationship to clothing or getting dressed.
A few years ago my body really changed and I outgrew my pants for the first time in my adult life. I love pants more than anything and over the years had collected a lot of beautiful pants from small shops and makers. I hung on to them for a long time, partly because I thought I would fit into them again and partly because it felt like a crazy thing to have to get rid of like, 10 pairs of pants. Alas, I put them in a box and sent them to a friend who could wear them and then I was FREE of the weird hold that clothes that don’t fit anymore can have on us. Most of my pants now are thrifted and I even got some tailored by an amazing queer tailor up here which was an awesome experience to have pants fit me just how I like. Moral of the story—don’t hang on to clothes that are too small.
Tell me about an accessory or piece of clothing that you lost or ruined but still think about.
My ex-girlfriend borrowed a pair of perfectly broken in Carhartt pants and lost them and I think about them all the time. I love pants!
What’s a current closet or style “must-have” for you?
Beanies! I love hats. I am a total hat guy and in the winter I am always wearing a beanie. There is this amazing store in Ann Arbor, MI called Sam’s that just has every single basic piece of clothing in all the basic colors. My everyday look indoors for style is a grey beanie from Sam’s. For warmth and functionality I usually wear either a brown or coral Carhartt beanie like when I am walking my dog June, hiking, or XC skiing.
Who do you think has good style?
Ambient music genius, songwriting wizard, and ex girlfriend Emily A. Sprague.
Anything else you want to tell us about getting dressed?
This year I have been trying to put on more cute outfits before I facilitate Landscapes and not only does it put me in a good mood but I also can feel it teleport happiness into the room, especially when it’s something bright.
I have a handful of really colorful thrifted short-sleeve buttons ups that I wear to Landscapes. One is red and a few are checkered or one is solid purple. All from either St Vincent De Paul or my favorite vintage store which is right here in northern Michigan—Slip Vintage. Pretty much all my tops come from either of those two places and my pants are all Everlane, Big Bud Press, or thrifted Levi’s. Oh and this amazing pair of Carhartt jeans from the 90's—those are the ones I got tailored to fit like a glove!
Oh also last year a huge style change I made was buttoning the top button of my shirts. It makes me feel hot and powerful.
Thank so much for doing the style questionnaire, Cody! Subscribe to Monday Monday here and check out their writing group Landscapes.
And I look forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments!
This one was so inspiring to me as someone with she/they pronouns who has just discovered wearing turtlenecks as an underlayer. I am more woman-presenting than nonbinary presenting, and I am always looking for ways to be a little more nonbinary presenting for gender euphoria purposes! But I relate to a couple things here I haven’t exactly heard anywhere else: almost having a summer and a winter gender, and wearing allblack as a protective cocoon. I really like the way Cody talks about their clothes and how they feel— so psychologically insightful!
I am from Alton, IL. So funny to see my hometown mentioned unexpectedly. I could not get the fuck out fast enough when I turned 18 but now I have a fondness for it of course.