"Bad Outfits Are Part of the Experience"
Ethical Fat Fashion with Sushmita
You’ve heard me talk about the frustrations of brands not making (or discontinuing) my size. I found the newsletter while doing research on places that I could buy clothes from. Sushmita’s Ethical Fat Fashion Brand Directory was an amazing resource—for fat folks or anyone trying to find better places to shop. I also enjoyed reading about Sushmita’s swimsuit journey and about what she wore traveling across Japan.
Sushmita is an artist-writer in her mid-thirties currently living in Tokyo. She founded the Substack after a few iterations, from a website to a series of zines. Sushmita leans into the abundance of options that we have right now while acknowledging that the fashion industry isn’t fair to workers or to fat people.
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What are you wearing right now?
Since my parents visited recently, I was short on time between deep cleaning my apartment and chaperoning them across Japan so I split this interview into several sittings. Twice I wore a new-ish dress by recently closed Kholo in the print “Joy.” Being part of the Indian diaspora, my Hindi isn’t great but I’m fairly sure Kholo means to open. I don’t know Karishma (the founder of Kholo) personally, but I’ve been wanting to buy something from her brand for a long time—ever since I saw her very first designs, which had intricate beading.
On my trip, I accidentally snapped one of the buttons off the Joy dress and my mum sewed it back on and reinforced all of them for me. It reminded me of the miracle of sewing. I can do basic stitches myself, but I’d like to be more skilled.
Now I’m wearing what I like to call a “gremlin house outfit.” You know what I mean—it’s the slouchy stuff you rush to change into after taking off your bra (if you choose to wear one!) It’s a pair of old fast fashion black leggings that are pilling around the thighs and a dark salmon pink shirt that I picked up secondhand with “Fruit Paradise” printed on top that’s likely from a dessert and fruit buffet.
If you had to wear a uniform (same thing every day) what would it be?
A throw-on linen dress with puffy sleeves and buttons in denim blue or black.
One of my favourite online experiments is the Uniform Project by Sheena Matheiken. In 2009, she rewore the same dress (but styled differently) for a whole year and photographed herself. The project went to raise 100k for underprivileged kids in India.
Speaking of uniforms, I'm actually searching for a secondhand long sleeved wrap dress for making art at home. I know people usually wear boiler suits, but with the sheer amount of tea I drink, I like having the freedom to pee without completely undressing.
Where did you get clothes as a kid? Describe a favorite childhood outfit.
I don't have photos of myself as a kid and it’s hard to recall exactly what I wore, but there was a mix between practical outfits and overly frilly stuff that my mum chose. I didn’t have a lot of fashion autonomy. My outfits tended to be conservative and my mom was constantly worried about me catching a cold or being sexualized, so I’d be wearing extra layers like leggings or skivvys even in the heat.
In my teens, I remember wearing red cargo pants, a white shirt, and gold hoops. I loved that outfit because I looked older than I was.
From around fifteen to twenty-one, I experimented with style—mostly thanks to thrifting and having spaces to actually wear outfits. In my teens, I worked in a fast food call center so I could wear whatever I wanted. One outfit from my Uni days was a vintage black kurti with a pastel multicoloured design and sheer grey ribbed tights. I remember just feeling pretty in what I was wearing.
I like the idea of nostalgic dressing; a lot of my current wardrobe is rooted in something I wore in the past. I don't own that kurti anymore, but on my 30th birthday I bought a custom dress made from Brook Gossen fabric (a Brisbane-based surface designer) that was eerily reminiscent of that same kurti.
You write about ethical fat fashion. How do you think about what is or is not ethical when it comes to dressing yourself?
I think ethics and sustainability are different but interconnected. To me, pushing for an ethical fashion industry means centering workers.
The most sustainable thing people can do is wear what we already own or buy secondhand. But ethics is different; it focuses on how we can transform the fashion industry so it's fairer for workers. There’s overlap of course, like our overconsumption which we often “solve” through endless donations ends up in the secondhand economy, a lot of which then goes to open markets like in Ghana. Most of the unsold goods end up in the local landfill which pollutes the waters. In cases like this, ethics and sustainability are inseparable.
There’s generally a whole lot of othering that goes on in fashion. Of course it's layered—governments, legislation, unions and obviously brands all have responsibility. It absolutely shouldn't be just on consumers.
Yet even when we have the conversations about different types of privilege and oppression, it's often limited to issues in the global North. This is also a key criticism of white or western feminism. We insert this binary, where certain issues are "ours" and then what people are going through in other countries is "their stuff"—when globally we are interconnected through consumption, through colonial legacies, and through our governments that rarely represent our interests. People think of fashion as this separate, apolitical thing and it's just like, "oh shut up, I just want to buy my stuff and have fun with fashion without having to be lectured to." I get that, but it doesn't eliminate that our individual consumption adds up to a massive collective power that has a huge impact.
At the same time, I think we can veer too far into this idea of pursuing moral perfection. I've definitely felt like I've placed this pressure on myself and others before. Between secondhand shopping, independent ethical brands, and ultra fast fashion, there's a whole lot of murky grey area where we honestly don't know a whole lot about how a brand manufactures. There's no winning, there's no moral perfection; we’re all embroiled in this messy world.
The truth is that it is completely impossible to not consume products that are not tainted with exploitation or negatively impact our environment. I think we've just got to do what we can within our own means and capacity.
Instead of trying to come from a sense of everything that is wrong with the industry, I'm trying to focus on the abundance. What is available to us, which ethical brands cater to us, how can I create joyful outfits. Ethical fat fashion is obviously for the community—but it's for me, too! I want to walk the walk, I want to show it's possible to build a wardrobe that feels considered and connected that isn’t made up of ultra fast fashion. When it comes to dressing myself, I rewear the same stuff ALL the time.
Right now I’m taking an eclectic approach to adding more. I'm collecting tidbits of inspiration through writing down outfits from shows and real life. I'm thinking about which colours I want to introduce to my wardrobe. I’ve been planning to do a wardrobe inventory forever. I’ve spent a lot of time just thinking about what I want to wear, what I like, and what I need to get rid of to make more space for joyful outfits.
Tell me about an item of clothing that you wear only to do a specific activity.
I go to a pottery studio twice monthly. I have a home wardrobe where I'm not bothered if things get stained with paint and then clothes I wear out and about. But going to the studio blurs the boundaries because everyone at the studio is very stylish. I have to wear clothes that I feel are nice enough but not too nice that I’ll get upset if I get wet clay on them—or god forbid, glaze!
I tend to wear my denim skirt and a shirt or top from my old work wardrobe.
You live in Tokyo. I’d love to know if how you dress yourself or shop for clothes has changed since living there.
The real answer is I rarely shop at mainstream stores anymore. When I first came here there was a supermarket chain that had a clothing section that was more family-oriented, which meant they’d occasionally have larger sizing. I’m a US 18-22 and they rarely had my size, let alone anything bigger. I did pick up a shirt or two and a pair of trousers. The length here is so, so perfect for my height, but plus sizing is almost impossible.
Everyone goes on about how amazing the thrifting is here, and it's true if you're thin. If you're fat, be prepared to have a bad time. For the first three years, I tried to thrift and had zero luck. It was actually comically bad. My size differs depending on the fit of the item (there's a lot of oversized stuff here), but I'm generally a 5-6L or 19/21. Technically a 6x in Japan and about 1-2x in the US. But everything at the secondhand stores would stop at an LL which is the Japanese equivalent of an XL.
And the speciality plus stores are mostly polyester workwear. I’ve found ways around it though. I only shop online now. Being petite and plus with small boobs is hard because I don't fit ready-to-wear. I wrote about the barriers when shopping while fat—not being able to try things in-store is a huge one. I talk about abundance, but there's also an underpinning reality that unless the clothes are custom made or adjustments can be made, it's unlikely I'll get a perfect fit. Almost everything I've bought non-custom has been flawed in some way—the sleeves are too long, the length isn't quite right, shirts start to shift, or it simply doesn’t fit.
I bought from Universal Standard for the first time, and the fit was completely off, but they don’t do international exchanges; they asked me to send it back by express courier, which cost a whopping 60 USD (it’s still sitting in the corner of my wardrobe).
Considering all of that, I’m feeling pretty lucky with how much stuff in my wardrobe I love to wear.
What did you wear to the last party or event you attended?
I don’t do parties often. But my friend had a Barbie-themed get-together last year and I wore a bright pink linen dress and a neon yellow-green jumper.
This year, the biggest thing would’ve been my birthday but I decided to buy a co-ord instead because I wanted an outfit that was impactful but was still versatile.
The actual biggest event I went through recently was a colonoscopy. I wore a teal stretchy skirt that is old fast fashion and I used to wear to work with a thrifted striped light blue shirt. Afterwards I went to a cat shrine then to a trendy stylish 'youthful' neighbourhood. There was something really empowering about not giving a shit if I looked put together or not. Medical appointments are a stark reminder that this is all temporary. Fashion is serious in the way that it affects people's livelihoods everyday and also very not-serious. A bad outfit is not the end of the world. I saw a reel the other day about people not leaving the house because of outfit anxiety and that saddens me. The bad outfits are part of the experience.
I find that we rarely talk about fashion and how it affects the non-curated parts of our lives. Like what we wear out to grab a coffee and some sunshine or meet our friends vs. what we wear when we have medical appointments or we're in the foetal position struggling with pain. Do we still get to be our hot selves in these vulnerable moments?
Tell me about an experience that changed your relationship to clothing or getting dressed.
I was branded the weird chubby Indian kid for most of my life, and it was hard to really sit with how fucking cool I was because people would rarely go beyond the stereotype to see those parts of me. Fashion felt like one of the few ways that I could express myself.
When I was almost 21, I moved to Melbourne. In the ever-evolving ways that I had tried to find myself, I wanted to be the eclectic, fashion person. I thought living in Melbourne was part of that fantasy. I had already spent years thrifting and experimenting, and I thought the city would allow me to experiment with fashion further. How wrong I was.
I remember going into Kinki Gerlinki, which is an independent boutique. Life was very stressful at the time and I wanted to wear something cute. I didn’t really have the intention to buy; I just wanted the experience of connecting with fashion. I remember taking a pink dress into the fitting room in my ‘usual’ size, and I got stuck. With my partner’s help, I managed to slink out of it somehow, but it was the start of feeling completely disconnected with fashion itself. My size and finances dramatically changed in what felt like a heartbeat. Nothing fit, thrifting was painful, money was tight. I lived in leggings and too-small shirts for years.
Over the years, when I was trying to reconnect, I was so deep in the body image spiral of shame, that I didn’t feel comfortable in anything I wore. For so long I thought my body was the problem, I never for once thought, hey maybe it’s because all the shops we designate as cool only stock up a fucking size AU12 (which btw is a US8!).
I no longer care about getting access to those stores. I think purposefully limiting your sizing because you don’t think fat people can be hot or cool is actually the definition of uncool. Especially now we have more independent labels and micro-creators including fat creatives. My definition of cool includes diversity and is not constrained to the white thin aesthetic.
Tell me about an accessory or piece of clothing that you lost or ruined but still think about.
I’ve moved around a lot and so it’s been hard to have a consistent full wardrobe especially when it comes to accessories. I regret letting my nose piercing close up and hesitating when buying jewelry, I’m slowly rebuilding my collection.
When it comes to clothes, I have this beautiful pair of dungarees that accidentally went into the dryer. They’re still wearable but I think the fabric has warped and sits strangely on my thighs.
There’s also a couple of pairs of thrifted shoes that are still back in my parents home in Australia, a pair of brown hiking boots I’d wear everywhere and a cream pair of mid-heels that I wore once and have never found again. I haven’t been back for over five years, but when I do, I’m definitely going to try and take them home with me.
What’s your fall 2024 must have?
My most worn autumn item is a black turtleneck, which I wear as a layer in winter too. Mine has lost some of its stretch now, so I’m looking to buy another turtleneck, maybe in a different colourway, either from Thief and Bandit, Nooworks, or Bamboo Body.
Who do you think has good style?
Honestly in Japan, whenever I walk outside, I’ll find at least one outfit I’m in love with. The other day while standing in line, the woman ahead of me had a white and blue grid collared oversized midi-dress, bright orange socks and a maroon handbag, her outfit was perfection and she was juggling a pram!
But online, I love Lydia Okello (styleisstyle) and Sobia Ameen. Lydia often showcases sustainable and ethical brands and I am in love with every fit they post. Sobia showcases many Indian and Bangladeshi brands, I love when she posts her saree fits.
There’s quite a few thin or small fat sustainable influencers or creators that I love, too, but sometimes I find it too painful to follow them because there’s a good chance that whatever brands they promote, I won’t be able to access.
Anything else you want to tell us about getting dressed?
I used to always want everything to fit neat little linear evolutions or boxes, including my fashion journey. For some people, having restrictions like a max number of items, limited colour palettes, dividing clothes into seasons can be very helpful. I’ve learnt that it’s just not me.
I also find that sometimes I downplay my expertise and passion because I know there is so much history and textile science I don’t know, and I’m always going to be learning.
But I’m also recognising that so many of the fashion experts out there have just self-credited themselves as such. Fashion is all about audacity, and I want myself and other fat people to take up space.
Thanks, Sushmita! Subscribe to to keep up with Sushmita’s work.
I’d love to know what you thought about this style questionnaire in the comments.
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I’m obsessed with the dress and the cat in the cat cafe pic! Being in plus sizes with small boobs is difficult to shop for, depending on where a dress or shirt hits can entirely change how it fits- I don’t want clothing to hang off my boobs and shoulders and then be really tight in my belly and hips! I always love the style accounts too! Loved this whole interview!
I thoroughly enjoyed this interview. Sushmita so well articulates the intersections between the political and the person. I also loved where she says- "Fashion is serious in the way that it affects people's livelihoods everyday and also very not-serious. A bad outfit is not the end of the world. I saw a reel the other day about people not leaving the house because of outfit anxiety and that saddens me. The bad outfits are part of the experience."